Consequences for Children

The word "discipline" literally means to educate, teach and train. Effective discipline of children is not to punish, control or manipulate. In her book, kids are worth it!, author Barbara Coloroso discusses that effective discipline does four things that punishment does not:

shows children what they've done wrong
gives children ownership of the problem
helps children find ways to solve the problem
leaves a child's dignity intact

Even though at the time, imposing healthy consequences may feel like punishment to a child, when done effectively, it can promote stronger relationships.

Consequences for children can be either natural or logical (imposed by parents). When parents are put in a position to impose consequences, it can be more effective if the consequences are reasonable, simple, practical and maybe most importantly, a valuable learning tool. If it isn't all four of these, the consequence is probably not going to be effective and it could be punishment in disguise.

One of the biggest challenges facing parents is when to step in and impose consequences. If natural consequences will help a child learn then many time a parent imposing consequences is not necessary. If the situation is not life-threatening, morally threatening or unhealthy, a parent should give strong consideration as whether imposing a consequence is necessary.

When to impose consequences can be a challenge for many parents. One-on-one guidance is available. If you want to learn more about effective discipline and healthy consequences, one-on-one guidance is available.

Natural Consequences are the inevitable result of a child's own actions, following naturally without parental intervention. A child who touches a hot plate after being warned, will feel the natural consequence of getting burned. Or neglecting to bring a coat on a chilly day will result in feeling cold. Natural consequences permit a child to be responsible for his or her own actions, rather than protected by the results of them.

Logical consequences also follow from a child's action but necessitate parental intervention. In some cases, natural consequences are not inevitable, or may be so severe as to be harmful. In these cases, a parent may need get involved. To be effective, logical consequences must be applied each time the event occurs, must be logically related to the event, and must be acceptable to the parent.